


Before

by Windstorms



Series: Darkness Falls verse [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Apocalypse, Bickering, Exes, Getting Back Together, Hurt Jared Padalecki, M/M, Oblivious Jared Padalecki, Oblivious Jensen Ackles, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-09-06 01:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windstorms/pseuds/Windstorms
Summary: Jensen and Chad argue about who is more important to Jared.





	1. Salt in the Wound

**Author's Note:**

> I've written several short snippets of what took place before the main story that don't really fit in anywhere else. So I'm going to add timestamps here from time to time, showing things like how and why Jared and Jensen broke up, and exactly what happened to Chad. My work schedule is on the insane side right now - but I am NOT abandoning this verse. It may be easier for me to update with short ficlets for the time being. Hopefully it fills in some pieces and some people enjoy it.

They’ve been walking for miles. The road is empty except for the three of them. The midday sun is beating down on them, harsh and unrelenting, and it’s making traveling by foot take longer than Jared anticipated when they set out at dawn. They have to keep stopping in the shade to take breaks to rest or drink water. 

“This would be easier with a car.” 

Or in Chad’s case, to bitch about the obvious. Jared rolls his eyes, already knowing what’s coming next. 

“This would be _easier_ without your useless running commentary,” Jensen snarks back. 

“Useless? That’s the way you thank me after we came and saved your clueless ass from your little penthouse suite? Jared, are you really gonna let your ex boy toy keep talking to me like this?” 

“His _what_?” Jensen all but growls, and before Jared can utter a word Jensen has dropped his gear in the middle of the road and is stepping right up into Chad’s space. 

“You heard me, pretty boy,” Chad taunts, not backing down. He sounds almost gleeful. 

“Guys,” Jared says with a resigned sigh. He stops and turns to stare at his… well. His best friend and ex-boyfriend. Or ex-best friend and… whatever Jensen is to him now. Not quite his best friend anymore, and not his boyfriend anymore either. Certainly not his boy toy, then or now. He resolutely pushes those thoughts away, because right now he needs to break up the latest squabble between his bickering friends. 

A muscle in Jensen’s jaw twitches as he glares at Chad. “Pretty boy,” Jensen repeats flatly. 

Chad squints up at him and nods, an amused smirk playing across his features. “I can’t _wait_ to see what you look like in about a month without all your expensive moisturizers and hair gel. Bet you won’t be so pretty then,” Chad muses. 

Jensen is already furious, Jared can tell. Anyone but Chad would shut the hell up and back down, but the heat is getting to them, making all of them cranky. Jensen clenches his fist and takes another step closer to Chad. “I’ve about had enough of your mouth. If you weren’t Jared’s friend, I’d knock you into next week.” 

Chad shrugs, completely unconcerned. “If you weren’t Jared’s ex-bitch, I’d have left you back in Van and let the zombies have you.” He leans closer to Jensen and breathes, “It’s still not too late to leave you here on the side of the road.” 

“Chad!” Jared snaps.

Jensen smiles coldly and spreads his arms wide. “Go ahead. Who do you really think Jared would choose, Chad?” 

Chad scowls and Jared can’t help but wince. Jensen’s barb hits a little too close to home, and they all know it. Chad has not so subtly resented Jensen for years, ever since Jared met Jensen at their audition and the two of them instantly clicked. Jensen had quickly taken Chad’s place as Jared’s best friend, and as they grew closer and fell for each other his friend’s bitterness had only deepened. 

That hadn’t changed when the two of them had broken up. Even now, when they all need each other for survival, Chad still takes every chance he can to get under Jensen’s skin. Jared’s not sure if it’s out of lingering jealousy, or if Chad thinks he’s backing Jared up in trying to get back at his ex-boyfriend. Some sort of guy code thing that Chad has gotten all backwards. Because Jared isn’t mad at Jensen, or he wouldn’t have panicked and gone to get him when the outbreak first happened.

Still glaring at each other, Jensen and Chad declare simultaneously, “I don’t know what you see in this guy.” 

“Okay, okay. That’s enough,” Jared says, stepping in between them and putting a hand up like a referee. He’s had to do this too many times. They’ve been moving from place to place for weeks now, looking for some sort of permanent shelter or maybe even a camp of survivors. So far they haven’t come across anybody. Instead of discussing what it could mean, they seem to have started taking it out on each other in inane ways. 

Jared refuses to believe they’re the only ones left in this new world. And he refuses to let their little group fall apart or get separated over petty insecurities about things that happened years ago. 

That stuff doesn’t matter now. 

Except Jensen wouldn’t be here at all if that were true, and Jared knows it. He pushes that thought away as well. Now’s not the time for examining his feelings about his ex. 

Instead, Jared looks at Jensen and shakes his head almost imperceptibly. Jensen holds his gaze for a moment and Jared still feels that pull towards the other man, that bond between them where they don’t need words to have an entire conversation. Jensen takes a step backwards and raises his hands in supplication, forcing a smile onto his face that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

Jared turns his attention to Chad who is still watching Jensen warily. “Let it go,” Jared mutters under his breath. 

Chad nods and shifts from one foot to the other. “Sure thing, Jay,” he says. He smiles brightly at Jensen, but it’s his fake actor smile. “No offense man.” 

“None taken,” Jensen says, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and Jared grits his teeth. There’s more melodrama building between the two of them than there used to be on Chad’s over-the-top teen drama show. 

Jared throws up both of his hands in disgust. “Can we get going so we can find somewhere to stop for the night? Sometime before a zombie comes along maybe?” 

His companions mumble their assent and Jared decides to count it as a win. Jensen wanders over to where he dropped his things and bends down to grab his duffel and backpack. Shouldering his pack, he starts walking again. Jared catches up to him and falls into step with him, leaving Chad to trail a few paces behind.

Chad will cool off. He always does. They’ll find some place to hunker down for the night, and start this routine all over again tomorrow. They’ll find some other people they can trust soon. They’ll find somewhere safe, and all this unnecessary tension will dissipate. 

Jared just has to try to keep his two friends from killing each other before the zombies can in the meantime.


	2. Almost a Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared, Jensen, and Chad find an abandoned house and get to take a break from the apocalypse.

Jensen kicks the front door in with an ease that’s borderline alarming. Chad looks over at Jared, eyebrows raised and clearly a little impressed. Jared just smiles. “You are not really Dean,” Jared reminds him.  
  
Jensen snorts but doesn’t reply, already moving into the house. He has his gun raised and is looking around cautiously. Jared and Chad follow him inside with their guns also drawn, and they split up to clear each room quicker.  
  
They’d dispatched a few zombies at the entrance to the neighborhood, and they’d avoided a larger group that were milling around a couple of streets over. They had eventually settled on breaking into a nondescript two-story house near the end of what appeared to be a deserted street. The house is set a good distance back from the road.  
  
Jared waits for the others in the living room after he’s done a sweep of the first floor. Jensen is checking out the upstairs, and Chad’s down in the basement. He glances around at the dust and the overturned furniture. It looks like this place has been ransacked pretty thoroughly, but probably abandoned for a long time. Good.  
  
He can hear Jensen pounding on a wall upstairs, making extra noise in an effort to draw out any zombies that might be up there. He briefly thinks about going upstairs to help him, but he stays put. It’s not worth all the complaining he’ll have to listen to. Jensen likes for each of them to clear out one level of a house. Jared thinks he’s being stupid. There’s lots more closets and bathrooms on the second level of any house and it’s inherently more dangerous.  
  
But Jared had done something to his shoulder when he was trying to put a zombie down earlier. They’d been using their knives instead of guns, because they’re trying to save ammo and make as little noise as possible. Stabbing a zombie in the head isn’t as easy as it looks in the movies. He’d wrenched his arm back at the wrong angle, and immediately felt something in his shoulder twinge. It’s been messed up ever since. It’s nothing serious, but it’s enough to remind him he won’t be doing push-ups anytime soon. Regardless, Jensen will have some kind of fit if he does more than stand around in this musty old living room waiting for him to finish his Rick Grimes impression.  
  
Chad comes clomping up from the basement about the same time as Jensen comes back downstairs. “It’s clear up there,” Jensen says.  
  
“Down here too,” Jared replies, and they both nod when Chad declares the basement is zombie-free as well.  
  
Chad claps his hands together. “Home sweet home.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah. Gimme a hand with this before you start redecorating,” Jensen says. He’s gesturing to a large bookshelf in the corner. Chad drops his stuff and moves to help Jensen push it up against the front door.  
  
Jared stands off to the side, rubbing absently at his shoulder and feeling a little useless. There isn’t much else Jared can do when they start bickering over if the furniture is enough of a barrier or if they need to find something to tie around the doorknob and the busted doorframe, so he grabs his and Jensen’s gear and heads upstairs.  
  
There’s a small bathroom at the top of the landing. He keeps going and comes to a stop at the next room. It looks like it was once a guest bedroom. The faded curtains match the equally faded bedspread. The room is sparsely decorated, if he can still call it that. The dresser drawers have been ripped out and tossed on the floor. The nightstand is tipped over on its side. The closet is open like someone had gone through it. There’s a few framed pictures on the walls, and they’re all skewed at various angles.  
  
Whoever lived here has been gone for a long time.  
  
Jared adjusts the strap of his backpack on his shoulder so it’s a little less uncomfortable, and moves onto the next bedroom. It has two twin beds in it. Going by the band posters on the wall and the dusty television with a video game console on the floor, it belonged to the teenaged children.  
  
Jared moves farther into the room, dropping Jensen’s backpack and duffel on the first bed. He deposits his own stuff on the floor at the foot of the other bed. The closet doors are open in this room too, and there’s a few flannel shirts hanging up that probably won’t do much for him but might actually fit Jensen. He’ll have to show them to him later.  
  
He sits down on the bed and stretches his sore arm gingerly. That’s when he hears Jensen say, “Dammit, and I was hoping for some bunk beds.”  
  
“Uh,” Jared says eloquently, but Jensen just grins at him as he strides into the room.  
  
“Roomies, huh?”  
  
Jared just watches as Jensen moves over to the twin bed Jared left his stuff on. He rubs at the back of his neck, suddenly nervous about presuming where Jensen would want to sleep.  
  
“Well, this is great. I’m squatting in a house with the friggin’ Winchesters,” Chad mutters from the doorway.  
  
Jared rolls his eyes. “You get the master, Chad.”  
  
“Damn right I do.” Clearly satisfied with that, Chad wanders off back down the hall. Jared runs his hand over his jeans and tries to figure out something he can say to ease the tension. A loud whoop of joy a moment later can only mean that Chad’s found the master bedroom and he’s happy with whatever he’s found there. A bed that’s big enough to fit him, most likely.  
  
Jensen hasn’t said anything else. He takes off his jacket and lays it at the foot of the bed. Then he starts rummaging through his duffel.  
  
Jared clears his throat. “I just thought... maybe - we could share. I mean. If you wanted -” He gestures back and forth between them and trails off.  
  
Jensen raises his eyebrows. “Is there an actual question in there?”  
  
“There’s one other bedroom. You can stay in there. If you want.” The third bedroom has one double bed. Jared had briefly considered putting all their things in there and offering to share the bed or take turns sleeping on the floor. Nothing weird about it. He’s just gotten used to falling asleep with Jensen somewhere close by, listening to the sound of his breathing. It’s comforting, and he doesn’t want to give that up.  
  
“Nah, this is fine.”  
  
Jared perks up at that. “You sure?”  
  
Jensen smiles. “Yeah. This is probably safer. We should stay together.”  
  
Jared’s stomach absolutely does not do some sort of strange little swoop at Jensen’s choice of words. “Okay. Um. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too.” He smiles back at Jensen, relieved.  
  
And, as simple as that, things are comfortable between them again. Jensen zips up his duffel and glances over at Jared. “How’s the shoulder?”  
  
“Better. I think I’m gonna take a nap though.”  
  
Jensen nods, but he’s still eyeing Jared with concern. “Probably a good idea. You’ve been up for a while since you took third watch last night.”  
  
Jared nods, fighting back a yawn. “You gonna get some sleep too? Chad can take first watch.”  
  
Jensen shakes his head. “I’m gonna go down and look around in the kitchen. See if there’s any food left before Chad accidentally eats it all.” He grins. “Maybe if we’re really lucky there’s something in the cabinets besides canned beans.”  
  
“That’d be a nice change,” Jared agrees.  
  
Jensen chuckles and heads towards the door. He turns back around. “You get some rest. I’ll save you some food for when you wake up.” He raps his knuckles on the doorframe twice, and then he’s gone.  
  
It isn’t often that sleep wins out over food for him, but he decides his stomach can wait. His shoulder aches, and he’s tired from days upon days of walking followed by nights of catching a few hours of uneasy sleep outside. Jared stretches out on the too-small bed and can’t suppress a groan of pleasure. The mattress is lumpy and the pillow is too firm, but Jared really doesn’t mind. His feet dangle off the end of the bed, but he can work with that. He turns over on his side and bends his knees, drawing up his legs. He moves around until he manages to find a comfortable position, and then it’s bliss. He can’t even remember how long it’s been since he slept in an actual bed. Most of the time he sleeps on the ground, and he’s gotten used to it. But this is a rare luxury he will never take for granted again.  
  
His last coherent thought before sleep pulls him under is that he hopes they’re able to stay here for a while.  
  
*  
  
When Jared wakes up, he’s alone in the room. He blinks at the empty bed a few feet away from him for a minute, trying to figure out where Jensen is. The last thing he remembers is Jensen going to check out the food situation, but since the room is swathed in the shadows of mid-evening, that must’ve been hours ago.  
  
He wonders if Jensen decided to sleep in the room down the hall anyway. Something bitter curls in his gut at the thought, but he ignores it. Jensen’s backpack and duffel are still sitting on the clearly not-slept-in-yet bed, so he doubts that’s the case.  
  
There’s some kind of loud noise from downstairs, like something fell over. Jared’s instantly on alert, getting out of bed and looking around for his gun. But then he hears people laughing, and he relaxes. Except that it sounds like Chad and Jensen, and that doesn’t make any kind of sense, especially since they spent the better part of the day sniping at each other.  
  
He grabs his flashlight and clicks it on. Then he heads downstairs to see what is happening. He’s not sure what he’d been expecting to walk into, but the sight of Jensen and Chad camped out on the couch together, with a bunch of lit candles spread out all over the room creating some sort of freaky post-apocalyptic homey ambience definitely isn’t it.  
  
“What’s going on down here?” Jared asks. He looks over at Jensen. “Thought we were gonna let Chad have first watch.” He tries not to sound like he’s disappointed Jensen wasn’t asleep next to him, but seriously, what the hell?  
  
It’s Chad who speaks up first. “It turns out that the previous owners of our lovely new hovel left behind the absolute best bottle of bottom shelf rotgut whiskey I’ve ever had.” He brandishes the bottle and almost drops it and dissolves into laughter.  
  
Jensen snickers, and Jared gapes at him in open bewilderment. “You’re down here getting drunk.” Jensen simply stares at the wall behind Jared like it’s suddenly grown incredibly fascinating. “With Chad,” Jared continues for clarification. Jensen says nothing so Jared adds helpfully, “The same Chad you were fighting with all day.”  
  
“Better than drinking alone. Sorta,” Jensen mumbles with a half-hearted shrug. He sounds like a petulant child.  
  
“I am sitting right here. Thanks guys,” Chad says. He takes a swig from the bottle and smacks his lips, apparently not offended enough to let it deter his entertainment.  
  
“I’m just curious. Since when is getting smashed a good way for someone to keep a lookout?” Jared asks. He crosses his arms over his chest and wonders when he became the stern parent in this weird trio.  
  
“Oh my god, you were right,” Chad crows loudly. “He does do that bitchface thing like Sam Winchester when he’s pissed off. He wasn’t even _acting_.” Chad cracks up again, and Jared looks back to Jensen, trying to figure out what the hell alternate universe he’s woken up in.  
  
Jensen has the decency to look a little sheepish, finally. “I didn’t say that.”  
  
“You totally did.”  
  
“Shut up, Chad,” Jensen says, reaching over to grab the bottle away from him. He takes a drink and winces a little at the taste. At least he isn’t as drunk as Chad is, then. Jared feels a little better about Chad flaking out on taking first watch, but only marginally. Jensen passes the bottle back to Chad and leans back in his seat with a sigh. “We took a walk around the block about half an hour ago. There’s nothing out there.”  
  
“I was just telling Jensen about that time you got rejected by Lauren,” Chad says, and chuckles again at the memory.  
  
Jared exchanges a bemused look with Jensen. That’s not the whole story of what happened with Lauren, and Jensen knows that. Hell, Jensen knows about everyone Jared’s ever fooled around with, and Jared knows the same about Jensen’s history. He’d never told Chad everything about what happened the day he hit on Lauren, because Chad can’t keep anything to himself. As he’s just proven. He opens his mouth to say as much, but closes it when he realizes what’s really been going on here. Chad’s been playing some kind of 'who knows Jared better' game, and Jensen’s been letting him think he’s winning. He’s trying to get along with a guy he’d probably happily strangle - for Jared’s sake.  
  
He glances at Jensen, who is still watching him warily. And then Jared takes the time to really examine him. His hair is a little more tousled than usual and his clothes are disheveled. His cheeks are pink. He’s tipsy, sure, but he’s not drunk. Jared’s seen Jensen completely shitfaced, and this isn’t it.  
  
He imagines Jensen getting up to go to the bathroom or because he heard Chad making too much noise stumbling around. Maybe wandering down here to see what Chad was up to, finding him drinking and deciding to sit here and keep a real lookout going. He maybe tossed back a drink to every two or three that Chad had. Jared has to sit down then, because if he doesn’t, he’s going to do something monumentally stupid like launch himself at his ex and hug him. “Thanks for telling him about that,” Jared says to fill the silence.  
  
“No problem,” Chad replies. He leans towards Jensen and says, “Jay’s always had a thing for older chicks. And guys, now that I think about it.”  
  
Jensen is smirking now. “Is that so?”  
  
“Oh yeah. Man, you should’ve heard the shit he was saying back when he first met you and found out you were older than him on top of looking like... well... like you. I think he probably creamed his pants every time he thought about it for like a week.”  
  
Jared is absolutely mortified, and Jensen’s smirk is only getting bigger by the second. He can’t look at Jensen anymore, so he settles on glaring at Chad. He can’t shut him up fast enough. “Hey Chad. Why don’t you go on up to bed? I think you’ve had enough.”  
  
“No, Chad, stay. This was just getting really interesting,” Jensen says. He seems way too amused, and Jared feels like he’s going to be sick.  
  
Chad laughs and puts his feet up on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles. He opens his mouth and Jared holds up his hand before he can say anything else embarrassing. “If you say _one_ more word I’m pouring out your booze.”  
  
“‘m sorry, Jensen, I’ve suddenly forgotten everything about the last few years of my life,” Chad says, glaring at Jared.  
  
Jared shoots him a look of gratitude. Jensen laughs easily and says, “Okay.” Then he looks back over at Jared. “How’s your shoulder feeling?”  
  
“A lot better, thanks,” he answers, pointedly ignoring the way Chad is the one that’s smirking now.  
  
“Good,” Jensen says, but his eyes linger on Jared for a moment longer. “Well, if you’re staying down here Chad, I think I’m gonna go to bed. Somebody wake me in a few hours?”  
  
“Yeah man, sure.” Chad waves him off. “That’s fine.”  
  
“Oh, there’s food.” Jensen mentions as he gets to his feet. “You have a choice between your classic canned beans and more canned beans. Plus some potato chips that actually aren’t so stale they’ll break your teeth,” Jensen says, patting Jared’s back as he passes by him. Jensen heads towards the front hall. And yeah, Jared was definitely right about him not being drunk, because Jensen’s not weaving even a little as he navigates his way around all the books and other knick-knacks that litter the floor. Jared gets the distinct feeling Jensen is avoiding him for some reason. Like he didn’t actually want to sleep in the same room as Jared. He kind of wants to follow Jensen upstairs and ask him about it, but someone sober has to keep watch. He sits down next to Chad with a sigh.  
  
“Wanna drink?” Chad asks, holding the bottle out to him.  
  
“No thanks,” he says absently, distracted as he stares after Jensen.  
  
“Suit yerself,” Chad says with a shake of his head, and takes another swig. He winces. “Damn that’s some nasty shit.”  
  
He knows better than to say anything reasonable like ‘_why are you drinking it then_?’ so he keeps that thought to himself. They sit in silence for a few minutes. Chad drinks every so often and Jared thinks about going upstairs to ask Jensen if he did something wrong.  
  
“Your boy’s not so bad once he takes that stick out of his ass,” Chad remarks.  
  
“He doesn’t have a stick up his ass,” Jared says automatically.  
  
“I don’t want to know about all the kinky shit you guys used to get up to,” Chad says, holding up a finger.  
  
“What are you - that doesn’t even make _sense_. Man, how much have you had to drink?”  
  
“Enough that I’m feeling _no_ pain.” He pauses. “I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. It won’t be long before you’re hooking up again,” Chad grins. It’s more of a leer, actually.  
  
Jared sighs. Not this again. “That’s not gonna happen. He cheated on me.”  
  
“When did you become such a girl?” Chad asks, arching an eyebrow.  
  
“It has nothing to do with being a girl, Chad. Anyone that gets cheated on is pissed off about it. You’d know that if you weren’t the one always doing the cheating,” he snaps.  
  
“Fair enough. But you know, that was all shit that happened before the world went and ended.”  
  
"It doesn’t change anything.”  
  
“It changes everything. Or it would, if you could stop holding onto old grudges.”  
  
“I’m not holding a grudge. I’ve forgiven him. He’s here, isn’t he? But we’re friends. That’s all it’s ever going to be.”  
  
Chad gives him a skeptical look that says he thinks Jared’s being especially stupid. He sets the whiskey bottle down on the coffee table and pushes it away, like he’s done for the night. “He said he didn’t cheat on you.”  
  
Jared clears his throat and then runs a hand through his hair. He wasn’t expecting to be having a deep heart-to-heart with Chad while he was drunk. And he really hadn’t expected Jensen to be opening up about their break-up to Chad, of all people. “Because that’s what everyone that cheats says,” he says faintly.  
  
“I believe him.”  
  
“I thought you hated him.”  
  
“Nah. I just give him shit because it’s funny to wind him up. I don’t hate anybody that’s living. There’s no point.”  
  
Jared is silent for a while, trying to process when the hell Chad had gone and grown up. “Did you tell Sophia the truth?” he asks quietly.  
  
Chad looks him in the eye. “Yes. I made her cry and I broke her heart, but in the end I told her the truth. Because she deserved to know, so that she could get over me and be happy.”  
  
Chad’s just full of surprises tonight. “I’m sorry,” Jared says, because there’s really nothing else he can say to that.  
  
Chad shrugs, like he’s used to it. Which Jared knows is complete bullshit now. “If Sophia were here I’d be doing everything I could to make things right with her. I sure as fuck wouldn’t be wasting time pretending I was happy just being her friend like you two are.”  
  
“Chad,” Jared says, and then stops. He doesn’t know what to say. Chad’s usually a happy drunk. He was always the life of the party. Jared’s never really seen the maudlin side come out before.  
  
“I don’t know where she is. I don’t know if she’s even alive,” Chad’s voice catches a little on the last word, and Jared flinches. He doesn’t even want to imagine not knowing where Jensen is. “But what I do know is this. If she were here? I’d do everything I could to make things right between us. I wouldn’t fuck it up again. I’d give anything just to see her one more time. Anything. You’ve got a second shot.” Chad points in the general direction of the stairs.  
  
Jared shakes his head. “It’s not that simple.”  
  
“It’s exactly that simple. The world has changed, Jay. We don’t know how long any of us have. It could all be over tomorrow. I know you better than almost anybody other than that guy asleep upstairs. You’ve been miserable for two fucking years without him.” He pauses. “You’ve been more like yourself than I’ve seen you since you guys broke up, running around smiling and shit during the end of the freakin’ world.”  
  
He’d always known that there was more to Chad than the obnoxious front he put on for most people, but he wasn’t used to Chad coming right out and telling him when he was being the stupid one. He fidgets with his hands, thinking over everything his friend has said. “When did alcohol start making you smarter?”  
  
Chad punches him lightly on the good arm and calls him a dick, but then he laughs. “I’ve missed alcohol.”  
  
“I know you have, buddy,” Jared says with a fond smile. He’s just glad to see Chad getting off the topic of Sophia. “I’ll take over watch. Go get some sleep.”  
  
Chad nods and stands up. “I’m gonna.” He wavers a little bit on his feet for a moment, but then he looks down at Jared. “Just promise me one thing.”  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
Chad grabs one of the candles to take with him and Jared quickly stands to stop him. He hands him his flashlight instead. Chad shrugs and sets the candle back down. Jared sits down with a sigh of relief. Probably not a good idea for them to go burning down the house the night they found it.  
  
Chad turns the flashlight on, but doesn’t move to actually leave the room yet. “Whenever y’all work your mess out. Just. Promise me you won’t let him go this time.”  
  
Jared’s mouth drops open. “I think that’s the most sentimental thing you’ve ever said to me.”  
  
Chad tilts his head to the side, like he’s seriously considering it. “Probably.”  
  
Jared sighs again, watching the flame of the candle dance as his breath gusts over it. “It’s really not that easy, Chad.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah. I know. Blah, blah, blah.” Chad waves his hand. “Serious issues and fighting and drama. Whatever.”  
  
“Go to bed, dude.”  
  
Chad makes a face and gives him a mock salute. “I’m goin’.” With that, he finally wanders off upstairs.  
  
Finally alone in the room that is quickly darkening as evening gives way to night, Jared sits and thinks things over for a long time. He scuffs the toe of his boot through the dust on the floor. He picks up the half-empty bottle of whiskey, turning it over in his hands until he can make out the words on the label. He sets it back down without taking a sip.  
  
_Promise me you won’t let him go this time._  
  
He closes his eyes and tries to get Chad’s words out of his head. He and Jensen have come a long way from where they were when they first broke up, and he’ll always care about him, but all they can ever be is friends. What they had is over.  
  
It sounds like bullshit, even to him.


	3. Tastes Like Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It turns out when a person is hungry enough they can eat just about anything.

Jensen’s been prowling for the better part of an hour. He’s restless; wandering in and out of the house, double checking spots around the area that they already know to be zombie-free. Whenever he’s inside he keeps heading over to stare out the window in the front room. 

He’s looking down the street for Jared.

Chad sighs, leans his head back and looks at the ceiling. These two are so in denial it stopped being funny weeks ago. 

“He’s fine dude,” Chad says.

Jensen doesn’t respond. He turns and heads through the living room for the umpteenth time, into the kitchen. Chad hears the squeak of the back door as Jensen steps out onto the back porch.

It’ll be another few minutes before he comes back and starts the process all over again. He should’ve just gone with Jared in the first place. The two of them are insufferable when they split up.

Chad shifts around on the couch until he’s more comfortable. He may as well try to doze until Jared comes back and the idiots can have their little reunion. 

*

He’s woken up a short time later by Jared walking into the house, Jensen hot on his heels. 

“You have any trouble?” Jensen asks, sounding worried.

“Nope. Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Jared replies. He sets his gun down on the end table. 

“What does that mean?” Jensen asks.

“Just a few zombies, Jen.” 

“But your shoulder-” Jensen starts. Jared steps closer to the other man and then they’re talking too quietly for Chad to make all of it out. He can guess the gist of it though. Sometimes he plays a little game. He imagines that Jared and Jensen admit all the big, sappy things they want to say instead of acting like two guys who aren’t still hung up on each other. He wishes there was another person around that he could commiserate with. 

Chad sits up and groggily rubs at his eyes, blinking a couple of times. Then he notices what Jared’s still holding in his other hand, and no. Just no. “What the fuck are those?” he asks. 

Jared and Jensen look over at him. “Dinner,” Jared says, like it’s as simple as that.

“No way am I eating something that used to be alive. Get them out of this house.”

Jensen scoffs. “Really? Because you were such a vegetarian before?”

“I didn’t eat squirrels, man!”

“Would you rather keep living off of handfuls of berries and canned stuff we manage to find once in a while, Chad? Because we can’t count on always finding food,” Jared says calmly. He exchanges an exasperated look with Jensen, like Chad’s being the unreasonable one here. Meanwhile, _ he’s _ the one standing in the living room holding three dead squirrels tied together like he went out and picked them up at the grocery.

“I didn’t even know you knew how to hunt,” Chad says, unable to look away from the beady little eyes of one of those... things.

“Texas born and raised, man.” Jared grins. “If you don’t want any, that’s fine. More for me and Jensen. Seriously, you need some protein though.”

Jared and Jensen head for the kitchen, talking amongst themselves about preparing the squirrels for cooking them later on that evening. Now that they’re reunited, it’s like they’re already back in their own little world.

Chad feels bile rise in the back of his throat. He digs his fingers into the couch cushion and tries to think about something, anything else. This cannot be happening. There’s absolutely no way in hell he’s eating a squirrel.

*

It turns out when a person is hungry enough they can eat just about anything.

Chad’s learned more about being hungry in the last few months than he ever wanted to know. It’s nothing like it was before. Waking up with a craving for bacon and eggs. Or having the late-night munchies after smoking a bowl. 

He didn’t know what being truly hungry was like back then. They’ve gone days without eating now, more times than he wants to think about. Finding food has almost become more important than finding a place to sleep or finding ammo. If he’s too weak to stand, he’s too weak to fight. And then he’s dead. 

In the end, his growling stomach is the deciding factor. The end of the world is not the time for him to be a picky eater. After watching from the kitchen window for a while, he ventures outside. The smell draws him closer to the fire the guys are sitting beside out in the backyard. He’s still a little squeamish as he watches Jared rotate the meat over the fire, but Jared just smiles encouragingly at him.

“Just tell yourself it’s chicken Chad,” Jensen advises right before he pops a piece of meat that is definitely _ not _ chicken into his mouth.

Chad frowns as he sits down on the ground with a resigned sigh. “Yeah, sure. Do you think you could actually go kill a chicken the next time you feel like going hunting, Jayman?”

Jared grins. “Haven’t seen too many chickens around here, but next time I’ll just tell you it’s chicken. How about that?”

“I don’t like dark meat,” Chad complains.

“You really aren’t making this any easier on yourself.”

Chad makes a face at Jensen. With another sigh, he accepts the offering of squirrel-on-a-stick that Jared holds out. He turns the stick over, looking at it this way and that. It doesn’t start to look any more appetizing the more he looks at it. “You got any ketchup to go with this?” he finally asks.

“Come on, man. I’ve seen you put way grosser things in your mouth than a squirrel,” Jared says.

“You’re one to talk,” Chad mutters darkly, and takes a deep breath. He takes a bite of the disgusting monstrosity of squirrel shish kabob, and starts to chew. Surprisingly, he doesn’t gag, or choke, or spit the meat back out. He even manages to get the bite down without projectile vomiting. 

“See?” Jared smiles around a mouthful of still-not-chicken. “It’s not so bad.”

Chad grudgingly takes another bite. “Don’t think I’m forgiving you bitches for this.” He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, then washes it down with a swig of water. He desperately wishes it were whiskey instead.

*

Chad survives his meal, but he’s never thinking about it again, ever. He has to admit to himself that it’ll be nice not to be going to sleep with his stomach so empty it’s bordering on painful.

They’re all still sitting around the fire talking about the way things were before. Jared and Jensen are stretched out a few feet away from each other, their legs almost touching. Chad is sitting on a log facing them. “Do you think anyone we knew made it?” He asks during a lull in the conversation.

The other guys fall quiet. The crackling of the fire is the only thing to break the silence. Way to be a mood killer, he tells himself. They’d been talking about safer topics like falling asleep in a bed with 600 thread count sheets and relaxing in a hot tub. And he had to go and bring up people that are probably long gone and put that stricken look on both of their faces. 

“Let’s not go there tonight,” Jensen says, his voice a little hoarse. He’s watching Jared carefully though. And yeah, the big guy looks like he might cry any second.

Shit. Open mouth, insert foot. He knows how sensitive Jared is about his family. They all are, but Jared’s the one that seems to be taking it the hardest. “You’re right,” Chad adds hastily. “Let’s go with one thing you miss from before. But not people. Nothing too sappy.”

Jensen nods at him slightly, like he’s on the right track. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’ve got one,” Jared offers. Chad’s surprised he was even paying attention. But he’s glad if it’s taking Jared’s mind off his family. “I miss video games,” Jared says.

“Seriously?” Chad asks, narrowing his eyes. “Out of all the things you could pick, you’re going with _ Call of Duty_?”

Jared shrugs. “It gets boring, man. Once it gets dark there’s almost nothing to do. It’s like colonial times. Oh, it’s dark, time for bed. Fine. I miss _ electricity_. There, is that better?”

“Only a little,” Chad retorts.

“I miss my guitar,” Jensen says quietly.

“You can still sing without it,” Jared suggests. He’s looking at Jensen, eyes wide and earnest. Chad can’t stifle a grin at the wistful expression on Jared’s face. He wishes he had a camera to capture the moment. He’d like to have a picture to shove the proof that Jared’s still in love with the guy right in his face. 

It’s hard to tell with only the firelight to go by, but Chad would swear Jensen was blushing. Even the tips of his ears look like they’ve gone pink. “You think so?” Jensen asks, sounding hesitant.

“Definitely. I’ve always liked your singing, Jen.”

Jensen looks down like he doesn’t know what to say, but he’s obviously flattered. Jared smiles and pats his leg reassuringly. Huh. Maybe Chad doesn’t need photographic evidence after all.

“I miss pussy,” Chad interjects, just to interrupt the lovefest before Jensen actually climbs into Jared’s lap. Both guys simultaneously turn to look at him. At the startled look on their faces, he says, “What?”

“I don’t know, man. That’s just a little more than I needed to know about you,” Jared says with a shake of his head.

“We already knew that anyway,” Jensen agrees.

Chad scowls and folds his arms across his chest. “Whatever. You guys have it easy. You can just, you know.” He waves his hand at the two of them. They look at each other like he’s speaking another language. Chad rolls his eyes. “Look, it’s not like I can even find a place to jerk off with you two always around. The last time I tried slipping out into the woods for a little time alone a zombie snuck up on me and almost bit my shoulder off. I don’t think I’ll ever get it up again.”

Jared throws his head back and lets out a shocked bark of laughter. Jensen’s eyebrows climb almost all the way to his hairline before he says, “Dude, you overshare.”

Jared laughs so hard he has to swipe at his eyes. Jensen breaks down in laughter too. “I hate you both,” Chad says sourly.

Once Jared finally gets his laughter under control, he shakes his head. “Seriously, man.” He pauses and glances over at Jensen before continuing. “I don’t know how I feel about the idea of you keeping watch while we’re sleeping anymore if you’re just sneaking off trying to rub one out.”

He and Jensen dissolve into another fit of laughter then, sniggering and leaning against each other. “I don’t know, maybe he can get a zombie to help him out with that little problem he’s having getting it up,” Jensen rasps, when he’s finally able to talk again.

That sets Jared off all over again. He nods and slaps Jensen’s leg and then both of them are nearly howling with laughter. 

That’s it. Chad’s had enough. He stands up, wiping his hands off on his jeans. “Just for that, I’m going to bed and y’all can figure out who’s keeping watch. Fuck both of you and your nasty squirrels.” 

Their laughter follows him as he stomps through the long grass, heading back towards the darkened house. He climbs the stairs to the porch and opens the screen door. He looks back towards the campfire one last time before he steps inside. Jared and Jensen have finally settled down. They are sitting closer together, leaning towards each other and talking animatedly. Already back in their own little world again. 

He smiles. All he wants is his boy to be happy again. He’s not above humiliating himself a little if it helps push them in the right direction. Back towards each other. 


End file.
